I think that women, especially mothers, grapple with finding their life's purpose. Once a woman becomes a mother, this search is compounded by a vital question: where do I belong? Do I carry on in the public domain, pursuing my career or "resign" myself to the private domain and play the underrated role of a domestic housewife? But of course, just because women (like myself) have chosen to live their lives in the private sphere does not mean that they need to resign themselves from the public sphere. If you are reading my blog, I rest my case.
For some years, I struggled with my "role" as a mother. That was my mistake. I considered motherhood a part that I played in a script. I was to follow a set pattern of ideas, stick to the script, rule with my head and eventually (just maybe) it'll lead me away from the "problems" of motherhood back into a "real" job.
But from the time that you give birth to that baby, it doesn't get any more "real" than that! It took me some years to shove the script and realize that there is only one thing that I needed to follow: my HEART! I ditched the baby books, the flashcards, the coffee mornings and everything else that was "expected" and decided to "just be" with my children.
It wasn't that I never met up with other mothers, or even read a book for some parenting tips, or taught my children at home but I made a conscious decision not to let these things dominate how I related to my children. I just wanted to look at them, kiss them, love them, listen to them without all that mental noise, the social distractions and of course the pressure of expectations (surprisingly by other mothers!).
Motherhood doesn't ever need be a hard slog, with daily challenges with some merciful grace now and then, if only you let your thinking get out of your way and let your heart lead the way.
Now I parent with my heart, boy has it made all the difference in the world. Not only are my relationships with my children joyous but the guilt and obligations that society put upon mothers no longer keep me shackled. I am free to be wholeheartedly, happily and unapologetically a mother, a blogger, an artist, a crafter, a sewer, a wife in private within my private domain. I share my art and my writing with the public domain on my terms and only as it pleases me.
It is so simple and beautifully summed up by one of my favourite wisdom keepers:
"Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it."
Maya Angelou
Do you feel like you are playing a "role" as a mother or have you found your life's purpose?