Updated: Feb 19
The true meaning of those three essential words has been lost. Fake smiles, unseen trauma, passive aggression, competition, jealousy and envy mask authenticity in most relationships these days. It is no wonder that my paintings that appear to be throwing pixie dust at passersby come off as vomit in some peoples eyes. I am not ashamed to say that to appreciate my art, one has to reach enlightenment. Enlightenment is lightening up long enough every single day so that you allow yourself to feel joy, love and peace; this is officially, my definition. Without lightening up, you won't find love, peace and joy in any genuine sense of the word, and you indeed won't find my pixie dust paintings palatable without consistently feeling those feelings in your own life.
Do I feel those feelings consistently in my own life? Of course not! But I am unafraid to fight the good fight every single day to make sure that I do feel those feelings at least once or twice or always throughout my day.
The demons are many, I know; I will give you that. Also, touche, I agree that there are many lost souls out there who would willingly pull your butt down to purgatory if you allow them. I have had my share of stories about evil, loss, betrayal, failure, dysfunctional relationships to fill numerous angry personal journals if I choose it. But the twinkle in my eye that comes from my commitment to love, peace and joy will never be lost to addiction, giving up on my dreams and passions or stopping the fight to protect the whole-hearted, pure, innocent and vulnerable.
Here are some joy busters, peace killers and love leechers in my own life (and if it makes you feel better, the pixie fairy has them too, you can thank me for that info later). My loved one was diagnosed with cancer, and my other loved one stole money from me. My other loved one(s) do not give me a call because I stopped inviting them over, and receive no thanks to moi who is always the one entertaining them, cooking for them and giving them free stuff. Does this sound familiar? Or are you going to leave me cold?
Does this put my heart under a guillotine, sharp, shimmering and promising a painful but definitive end to any love, peace and joy in my life? Of course, it does! Do I relent? Of course not!
I have shed many a tear over the injustices in my life. My joy was gone with every tear that I shed. I have fallen off the wagon and lost my temper, long enough to want to bitch slap someone back to high heaven. There was no peace felt at that moment! The worst lack of love that I felt was my self-loathing; still, I turned up to show plenty of love to others. I now know that self-loathing is the worst betrayal and injustice made in the name of love.
Blah, blah, boo hoo, well, worst things have happened, and it has all happened to every one of us, right? Misery, loss, betrayal, the lot..shit happens. What to do about it? Hiss at those rosy-cheeked and bright-eyed talking about love, peace and joy because somehow they seem to have suffered less than us? I think, think again. Being envious or jealous of those people working hard to rise despite their pain will only, unfortunately, keep you trapped eternally in purgatory. Sorry to be the one to break it to you. You see, the reason that we are lucky enough to have these people show up in your life is for a reason. They are there, not because the kind pixie fairy decided to enchant just their life and not ours. They are there not because they just got the lucky end of the horrible stick. They are there to teach us that there is a way to rise above it all despite the suffering. Does Jesus, Buddha, Mahatma Gandhi, Oprah, Brene Brown cross your mind on examples of those who have suffered but risen to leave a legacy? I think we may even be fortunate to find just one or two examples of these folks in our own life! If we are lucky.
So for the solution, how to find enlightenment and lighten up? That is the million-dollar question, or is it? Some people aren't that dedicated to overcoming their pain. Wearing the suffering as a chunky 24 carrot shackle around their ankle, it becomes the story of their life. Instead, they would drop a million stat on a mansion, a fancy car, the perfect body, for power and status before enlightenment. Enlightenment is a bore when love could be bought, and peace is unattainable as told by the seven o'clock news, and joy is just a stupid catchphrase for little invisible fairy folk. The sob story continues, and misery loves company.
I am not going to give you the solution here. But thanks for reading this far anyway. I found my path to enlightenment. I am not going to claim that I reached it. I believe that as long as you are alive and in this human body, you'd be stupid to pursue it like a price. Those who are enlightened know what it means and subsequently realise how little they know. That is why you should never believe anyone who claims to hold a guaranteed key or a hack to this thing they call life! As for me, I will fight the good fight with all my demons to come out on top. My scorecard is how much love, peace, and joy could I feel in a day. If I feel it, my commitment is to share it with you through sharing my art. Despite the naysayers, the jealous ones, the envious ones, the sarcastic ones, the mean & nasty ones, the ones who roll their eyes and scoffs at the thought of love, peace and joy as anything but something they wish to strive for with every breath they take; I say good luck with that!
I will continue to sow the seeds of love, peace and joy with every breath I take. And with every breath I take, I will commit to sharing it with you. I hope that you will enjoy my paintings; here are some that I wish to share with you today.